Going back through some of the photos I took before Walker was born really makes me think. You know you are going to love your baby more than anything, and someone with a child already knows that there is nothing like a mothers love. But it is still so amazing to me how much you really have no idea the strength of your love for your child until you lay your eyes on them and you feel it. It truly is breath taking.
Ryan and I are so blessed to have two such beautiful boys and I can not imagine a life without either of them. I long for the days when I get to snuggle Walker and take him home with us. I know these days will eventually be here but right now it feels like every day is an eternity. Until then I just have to pray to God for Walker’s strength & health and for mine and Ryan’s patients.
For most of you that probably do not know much about a chest tube–I had never even heard of it until we went through it, Ryan on the other hand knew exactly what is was and is actually trained on it from the military. It is a little tube inserted in between his ribs to release air out of the chest cavity and to keep from putting pressure on his lung. Today (3/2) we had to actually take out his tube and put a new larger one in because the first one got clogged. We thought they were going to have to make a second incision but they ended up not needing to so that was a lot of relief. The new tube does seem to be working better and they were able to drop his oxygen push a little bit which I hope doesn’t need to go back up. They less oxygen they are pushing into him the better his pneumothorax will be. Due to the tube, we can not hold him right now and any mama knows how hard that is. I want to be able to do skin to skin and lots of mommy snuggles & kisses but right now all I can do is lay my head on the bed beside his and talk to him, pray for him and hold his hand.
Photos by Bumble Bee Photography
Shirt & Jeans: Pink Blush Maternity // Ring: Kendra Scott // Earrings: House of Harlow
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I am praying for your family and Walker! Take heart! Even though you can't hold him, just talking to him makes a big difference. These little ones are so aware; I know that he hears and takes comfort and strength from every word, every touch no matter how small. Also I believe that telling Walker what is happening to him and what is going to happen to him helps him feel secure, things like "Now we're going to change your diaper" "now we're going to touch your belly" helps him anticipate changes. I have been reading about respectful parenting with infants and it seems these little guys really are more aware than we sometimes realize! Please keep us updated on Walker! With love, Faith
Praying for you and your sweet baby Walker to heal quickly and build up strength so you can hold him and snuggle him and take him home. Sending hugs and love to you all! XO
Walker is no doubt getting the best care right now. My daughter is a NICU nurse and she loves her job as do all NICU nurses. They work miracles every day and really love their patients and families. In the meantime, stay strong, keep your family strong and healthy. Soon you will be able to cherish those moments with Walker you are wishing for now. Hugs to everyone
Saying lots of prayers for your little one <3